hotdiggitydogblog:

I have no idea how I’m going to top Max’s 3rd birthday. Obviously it was the highlight of his life. -_-

  • SPN Season 1: Let's use Christo to find out if they're a demon
  • SPN Seasons 2-4: Let's exorcise all demons to save their vessels
  • SPN Seasons 5-9: Lol let's stab the guy and see if he glows when he dies

espybounce:

lepreas:

framesjanco:

wine tastes so bad. I’m convinced the whole world is in on an inside joke together trying to persuade me that wine tastes good to them. there’s no way any one can like the taste of it. it’s like bug spray. the whole frickin world pretends to like bug spray. I don’t understand why. stop the madness

wine is an acquired taste. if you don’t like it, acquire some taste

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

averagefairy:

moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC 

xiii-wings:

xiii-wings:

buttcramps:

is there anything weirder than waking up after a dream and all the details are still fresh in your mind so you’re just like what the FUCK WAS THAT WHY DID I THINK THAT WAS NORMAL HOW DID DREAM ME NOT QUESTION THAT

I once had a dream in which someone asked me “how can you tell this isn’t a dream” and I was like, “of course it’s not a dream: I have four hands”

THE REASON I GAVE FOR THINKING THIS DREAM WAS REALITY WAS THE FACT I HAD TWO EXTRA HANDS

image

"Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?"

plightofthevalkyries:

Suddenly, there is a great rumbling.

Over hill, over dale, through forest, through fog, they come. Some walk. Some fly. Some crawl. Some simply move deep within the bowels of the earth. They are massive in number, terrifying in their fury. They blot out the sun from the grass below. They nearly shake the earth from orbit with their rage.

They are the English majors. 

They give a fuck about an Oxford comma.

backdoorteenmom:

lxvemxneyparty:

Jamie Lynn Spears leaves the audience at the 2014 American Country Music Awards (which took place in Las Vegas) after Blake Shelton’s rude comment about her sister Britney


apparently the audience didn’t have to go anywhere to see a lip synch performance